Autumn Leaves
by femme4jack
Summary: "I may look like a human being, but it didn't even occur to me until I was, like, eight or nine, that I was one."  A coming of age story for a human boy raised by giant alien robots from outer space. Hurt/Comfort.


**Title:** Autumn Leaves  
><strong>Author:<strong> Femme4jack  
><strong>Fandom:<strong> G1, post season 3 AU (No Optimus Resurrection)  
><strong>Rating:<strong> R/M  
><strong>Characters &amp; Pairings:<strong> Daniel Witwicky/Jazz, Rodimus Prime  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Coming of age story for a human boy raised by giant alien robots from outer space. Hurt/Comfort.

**Content:** AU, refs. major canon character deaths (including some that did not take place in canon), h/c, explicit xeno intimacy (pnp, fields, minor tactile), sexual identity confusion, cussing.

**Notes:** Written as a gift to Sharpest Asp (Merfilly) who asked for xeno between Daniel Witwicky and a mech other than Rodimus, plus Rodimus angst for not being there for Daniel. Also written for a request on the transformers kinkmeme on livejournal for fully consensual human-mech PNP xeno. It was not with the preferred characters in the request, but I hope this partial fill pleases. Thanks to Birdiebot for giving it a read through.

This story draws inspiration from three others. Serendipity by Caius (archiveofourown . org / works / 216169), Implicit Promises by Bibliotecaria_D (archiveofourown . org / works / 260297), and Bringing Him Home by Eaten_by_Bears (bear-fic. livejournal . com / 8173 . html). As always, remove spaces for links, and please read these wonderful stories.

* * *

><p>Danny knew it was a cliché, but he really was a ship tossed at sea without rudder or sail. Much less an anchor to keep him in the harbor.<p>

It really wasn't anyone's fault he was suddenly so utterly alone, but that didn't change the fact that he'd always, **always** had people so much bigger than him to rely on. And yes, as small as his parents were in comparison to all the others, in the most important ways they, too, were giants.

That someone was looking after him had always been a given when he'd been younger. Granted, some might have questioned the quality and maturity of that care, but never the spark and love behind it.

_Total neglect,_ the few other humans who saw him regularly as a child would whisper (mostly EDC personnel and civilian staff who came in and out of Metroplex on a regular basis). But Danny had never known anything else. He had a huge family, with HUGE family members, and it had never occurred to him until much later that, from a human point of view, it was strange for Spike and Carly to call on Rodimus Prime to sit with him when he had recurring nightmares rather than doing it themselves.

When it came to the happy accident that was Daniel Witwicky, Spike and Carly were ships tossed at sea, too, and simply turned the cargo over to the people they trusted the most. Once Sparkplug was gone, those all happened not to be human.

But there came a time when Hot Rod wasn't Hot Rod any longer, and Rodimus, as much as he tried, was far too busy making and keeping the peace to be able to race back for a boy who needed him, even though he wanted to and would have gladly traded the Matrix for danny-sitting duty again. So many of the other marginally acceptable substitutes Daniel had once turned to were gone due to the same events that had made Hot Rod a Prime. So Danny had, in his confusion, turned to the two non-Cybertronian people he knew cared, even if they didn't know how to show it. It had been easier for them, once he was in his middle teens. They could support him by talking and listening and sharing mutual interests. His dad, when duties allowed, taught him the tricks of the trade while his mom finally had an intellectual equal.

And then, just as suddenly, they were gone too. It had been a freak, non-sentient shuttle accident during what would have been his sophomore year had he not quietly dropped out while they'd been off planet. It would never have happened had Sky Lynx or Skyfire been available. But those far safer rides, along with the person Danny needed the most, were dealing with... well... things that needed a Prime and most of the Autobots, and an alliance with Galvatron with compromises made for the sake of the universe that all boiled down to Danny being alone when he needed support the most. The recorded message from Rodimus at the state funeral had only reinforced the loneliness, and had sounded strangely flat to his ears. The relief crew on Earth hardly knew him at all, and their polite and political condolences were the last thing he could face.

He couldn't even tell if the sea he was lost at was stormy or stagnant. All he knew was that he was alone in the middle of it.

* * *

><p>"Daniel," Metroplex softly broke his solitude. The city-former could sound downright maternal sometimes, for all that he would never intrude on what his protocols considered personal affairs. The eighteen-year-old blearily opened his eyes from where he was slumped at a table, several days' growth of facial hair scratching the arm that cradled his cheek.<p>

"Daniel," Metroplex said again, "I'm overriding the lock by order of the CMO."

"First Aid isn't here," he mumbled, confused. If First Aid had been there, he would have had someone to sob all over.

"No, he ain't, but Ah am," came a voice from the larger of the two doors as it slid open, illuminating the dark studio apartment from the corridor beyond. Like most human quarters in Autobot City, the room could accommodate at least one much larger visitor.

"Jazz?" Daniel said, finally lifting his head. Jazz spent most of his time away from the other Autobots, working closely with the EDC as a consultant, and it had been years since Daniel had seen the former TIC. The black-and-white mech had been a favorite before... before. But the loss of the rest of his cohort had just been too much for Jazz, and he'd resisted the efforts of various others to take him in. Rumor had it that Jazz's spark was just too damaged to form more bonds.

"First Aid ordered you back? Because of me?" Daniel asked, his tone bitter. He hardly knew Jazz anymore, and did not need someone there just because of orders.

"An' Rodimus," Jazz said. "Ah'm sorry it took me so long. Ah came as soon as Ah knew. Ya know how long EDC transports take. 'Sides Plex here, Ah'm the closest Autobot who knows ya. Or at least Ah did. Know Ah missed a whole lot, Danny. Doesn't mean Ah don't care 'bout ya."

Daniel shrugged, and Jazz seemed to take that as an invitation because he came in and knelt next to the table, the door sliding shut behind him. His blue optics were suddenly the only light in the dark room.

"Mind if Ah get the windows?" Jazz asked when Daniel put his head back down on his arm. He shrugged again, and Jazz signaled the windows to shift from blackout to transparent, letting in the sunlight from what was left of the day, bright orange against Maine's spectacular autumn colors. He then pulled a bag out of his subspace and set it down on the table.

"Not eatin's normal when slag like this happens, but Plex says it's been four days now, Danny," he explained. "Ain't this the place Ah used t' take ya through the drive-thru?"

Daniel shifted his head and looked at the bag of fast food blankly. "I'm a vegetarian. I've been one for four years now."

"Oh, well, sorry 'bout that. How 'bout Ah see if there's somethin' in your kitchen, then." The black-and-white mech stood and took the one step it took to get to the kitchen area. He put the fast food bag in the disposal and then knelt in front of the refrigeration unit, signaling it to slide open so he could duck even lower to look in.

"Why are you here?" Daniel suddenly asked, his face still on his arm.

"'Cause it ain't good t' be alone right now, Danny."

"What if I tell you to leave?" he asked, inwardly horrified by his rudeness to one of the mechs he'd worshiped like a hero as a boy.

"Well, Ah guess Ah'd ask ya if that's what ya really want. You're a grown man; ya can make your own choices."

Daniel gave a sound that was suspiciously like a sob. Jazz came back over and ran a finger along his back. "Ya want t' be alone, Daniel?"

Daniel tensed for a second under the touch, but then shook his head, never lifting it up.

Jazz sat down with his easy grace. "How 'bout we worry 'bout food later an Ah just sit with ya, then." His finger continued to stroke the back that was shaking with sobs.

* * *

><p>Showered, fed, and having shamelessly slept fourteen hours in a pile of blankets on a mech's abdominal plates like he used to as a kid, Daniel felt slightly less lost, or at least capable of looking out at the sea. Jazz had taken him on a drive and played the music loud, heater going full blast to counteract that chill autumn air from the open windows. It was a relief not to have to say a thing, and to not be alone. He still wondered why Jazz had come, when the mech had gone out of his way for years to avoid any reminders of what he had lost.<p>

They kept to the back roads, heading north on Highway 11 from the Autobot embassy lands near Bear Mountain, then east on Oxbow Road into the Appalachians, then winding past the lakes of the Allagash Wilderness. Daniel lost himself in the vibrant autumn colors and, as he had most of his life, quit paying attention to the turns they made since his ride was also the navigator. They finally ended up on a small dirt road that led to a pebbly beach by a lake. Nestled in the trees was a small cabin with an RV-sized garage. Jazz opened his door and Daniel stepped out and went straight to the water, skipping stones on autopilot and not taking any notice of the garage on the property until Jazz opened it up.

"What is this place?" he asked, following Jazz inside and finding, to his surprise, a ramp heading underground.

"Bunker," Jazz explained. "We got places like this all over the planet t' be used for emergencies. Spot where an Autobot can lay low and keep off the radar if things go bad."

Jazz didn't need to explain that such places had been built just as much out of concern for humans at some point turning on them as the Decepticons. He knew his parents had worried about the same, and had felt their duties were far more on behalf of the Autobots to humanity than the other way around.

"This qualifies as an emergency?" he said, following Jazz down the ramp to a massive hangar that was clearly designed with a mech in mind, even one as large as Skyfire. There were stockpiles of parts, what looked like solidified energon rations, and a standard-sized recharge berth, as well as a console that lit up as soon as Jazz entered the bunker.

"Ah figured ya needed a place t' get away, an' this is one where Ah can hang out with ya for as long as ya need. You'll find human rations and anything ya might need for yourself in the cabin," he added before Daniel could ask.

"That's... thanks Jazz. I always thought you were more of a city mech, but this is good."

"Ah spent a lot of time here, after. It was a favorite of Prowl's," Jazz explained. "Come on, Ah've set the perimeter alarms and synced them t' my sensors. Let's go up above 'n enjoy the colors. Ah see moose almost every time Ah'm here."

* * *

><p>"How do I do this?" Daniel asked. He'd pointedly ignored the fishing gear in the cabin and had settled, instead, on a datapad that had several thousand English translations of Cybertronian books. Mostly histories, but some literature as well. After a brief hesitation, he'd settled himself on Jazz's leg when the mech had sat next to the lake to read as well. By the subtle movements of his helm, he was likely listening to music on his internal speakers at the same time. Danny had mumbled the question while staring blankly at the screen, not taking in any of the words he was reading.<p>

"Grieve? Move on? Remember?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Ah'm the wrong mech t' ask. Among our kind, in the rare situation that ya lose everyone, ya find a new cohort. We ain't mean t' be alone. The fact that Ah refused makes me odd...damaged. Hard t' trust."

Daniel didn't know what to say to that. He hadn't wanted to trust Jazz, either, because he'd been gone so long. "Did going away help?" he finally asked.

Jazz vented, and carefully shifted himself back to look up at the sky, a hand automatically coming up to keep Daniel from losing balance while he adjusted his position. "Yeah. No. Both, Ah guess. Ah should've stuck around for the ones who were hurtin' just as much as me, especially for the newer ones like the Aerials and the Dinos. But they all had their teams or cohorts. Ah was just a constant reminder of what they'd lost, and Rodimus needed a new command structure made up of his cohort. If Ah stayed, it meant bondin' with 'em, an' Ah... just couldn't be a part of that, and Ah knew Rodimus didn't really want it either. Don't blame him a bit. Humans don't have the same assumptions 'bout things. Easier t' be round EDC folks right now, even the ones who think Ah'm nothin' but a smart machine. Sometimes they're not half wrong."

Daniel squeezed his eyes shut at the mention of Rodimus, and the hand that had held him steady curled around him tighter.

"Someone don't have t' die for ya t' feel like you've lost 'im," Jazz said quietly. "It's not just your mom an' dad you're grievin', Danny."

"Shut up! I don't want to fucking start crying again," Daniel hissed, even as the sobs started.

* * *

><p>A storm blew in that night, taking many of the autumn leaves to the ground. Rather than messing with starting a fire in the little cabin, Daniel stayed in the bunker where it was naturally warmer, and Jazz's plating even warmer still.<p>

* * *

><p>Daniel was futilely raking up the fallen leaves from the small patch grass that stretched out in front of the cabin. At the rate the maples were dropping their splendor, it would be covered again in the afternoon, but he needed to do something that was physical. Jazz was sitting in his favorite spot, tinkering with a piece of equipment from the bunker, making who knew what.<p>

"So, tell me what Ah've missed. First girlfriend? Boyfriend? Eagle Scout Court of Honor? Pranks ya played? What made ya decide t' be a vegetarian?"

"Umm"

"Okay, start with the vegetarian one."

Daniel shrugged, and then caught himself. He was too old to answer like a sullen teenager. He was, in fact, the oldest generation of his family, as well as the youngest.

"Beachcomber, mostly. We'd come back from Cybertron, and I noticed a lot of the environmental stuff I hadn't when I was younger, so I talked to him about it. There's not a lot one kid can do, you know, but I can control how I eat. Not to mention how many times I heard Sunstreaker complain over the years that humans smelled worse after they ate meat."

"Ah, that's slag. Not the environmental part, the other."

"Well, you know Sunstreaker."

"Ah do indeed. Glad he and Sideswipe have one another, Primus help 'em both."

_Two less mechs for him to feel guilty about abandoning,_ Daniel thought to himself silently, not wanting to hurt Jazz by stating it.

It made him think of the other mech who'd been a lone cohort survivor, like Jazz. Unlike Jazz, Bumblebee had immediately been brought into another cohort, as was expected. Daniel had never been particularly close to him. He'd always been his dad and mom's special mech. But locked in his grief, it hadn't occurred to him until that moment just how hard Bumblebee was likely taking his parents' loss. He'd been so numb that he hadn't even noticed Bumblebee was not among those who'd been able to come to the funeral. He could have. As far as Daniel knew, Bumblebee was not with the main forces in some galaxy far, far away, but was on Cybertron with Beachcomber and Perceptor. Well, at least Bumblebee had them. They were a good cohort, and his mom had said they'd helped Bee through a lot after he lost both his cohort and his hero in a single horrible day.

It made him wonder, yet again, why Jazz had chosen differently.

"How 'bout tellin' me why ya did one year at MIT and then bugged out," Jazz suddenly asked. From anyone else, the question would have sounded accusatory. Jazz had a way of asking that simply sounded conversational. It was why, Daniel realized, he used to do most of the interrogations.

"Honestly, the program was too easy, and I could teach myself better and faster on my own using Metroplex's library. I knew I'd be working for the Autobots, and they didn't care if I had a degree or not."

"And?" Jazz asked, visor honing in.

Daniel put down the rake and walked over to the pebbly beach, idly picking up more of the fallen leaves that blanketed the ground and tearing little pieces off them. "Let's just say I'm not that great with humans." The final word was said with the same inflection Jazz had heard others use with "aliens" or "machines" over the years.

"Ya never really had a chance t' learn how t' be, Danny. Ah'm sure ya'd do fine with time."

"I don't know how to talk with them, how to be around them. I say things that get me strange looks at best. I find them idiotic and fake and... not solid enough to trust. You asked about a girlfriend or a boyfriend? How do I explain to people that I find the idea of kissing another human being revolting because they're too squishy? I'm worse than Suntreaker. Mom and Dad were different. So was Sparkplug and uncle Chip when they were here. They at least understood a little."

"What do ya want people t' understand?"

"That... I may look like a human being, but it didn't even occur to me until I was, like, eight or nine, that I was one, and I still don't feel like one. I feel like I was born to the wrong species, like my body is the wrong one."

Daniel looked down at his hands, where all the autumn leaves were in shreds, falling in little pieces to the ground that was blanketed by the same colors.

Jazz knelt down and picked up his own handful, vented on them and watched the red, orange, burgundy and yellow lazily float back to the ground.

"Ain't easy t' love a Prime, Danny. Worth it, but not easy."

"He'd laugh and make it into a joke if he knew."

"No, Ah don't think he would. Maybe Hot Rod would've. Ah think Roddy'd feel like slag for not realizin' how much he was hurtin' ya."

"I'm not a mech."

"No, you're a human who was raised by 'em. If ya'd been a mech, you'd be part of his cohort."

"Don't have a spark to bond with. Don't have anything that makes it work, Jazz. I was born with the wrong fucking body."

Jazz stared out at the wind-tossed lake, considering his choices, and just how easy it would be to hurt this deeply hurting person even more by making the wrong one.

"Has anyone ever touched ya? As a lover?" he asked, going for Cybertronian bluntness rather than the human way of playing around a topic.

"What part of being grossed out by humans didn't you understand."

"Not what Ah asked. Ah've had lovers who weren't mah own species. Sometimes it was just curiosity, gettin' t' know somethin' new an' different. Sometimes it was a matter of given' and receivin' comfort. None that were more than a passin' thing, but that don't mean it wasn't good and beautiful. It's not common for us, but it ain't a taboo or considered somethin' deviant the way I 'spect it is for most humans. Ah'm certain there's Autobots who'd be with ya that way, now that you're old enough t' be. An'... maybe gettin' t' know your own body a bit better would make it easier t' feel good about other bodies like it."

Daniel looked back down at the ripped leaves in his hands, the colors as bright and vibrant as the person they reminded him of.

"What are you... are you like... what-"

"-Am Ah offerin' t' touch ya? Yeah, if ya wanna see what it's like. Ya said ya felt like ya were in the wrong body. Ah get that, an' it makes sense considerin' who raised ya. Ah don't know if Ah can help with how ya feel 'bout others of your kind, but maybe Ah can help ya feel better 'bout yourself. Do ya touch yourself much?"

Daniel turned bright red on instinct, and then realized as quickly just how nice it was to be able to talk about this honestly. Teenagers just didn't bring up this sort of thing with their parents, and now he never would. Spike and Carly may have understood perfectly, but he'd never know. He sighed to calm himself before plowing straight into those stormy waters.

"I've touched myself a bit. It... Jazz I think I'm crazy."

"Ya can tell me, Danny."

"I... even though it feels good, I can't stand touching my dick. It feels like it's not supposed to be there, and not 'cause I want, you know, to be a girl. I'm grossed out by the mess when I cum. I want cables and a spark. When I was really little, I thought I'd finally get them when I grew up... like they'd just grow on me, or I'd get an upgrade or something." He gestured helplessly at his body and laughed a little hysterically. "I thought this was just temporary. Like a larval stage or a tadpole."

Jazz burst out laughing, and Daniel couldn't help but to laugh, too. The whole thing was just so ludicrous.

"Ah, Danny, Ah'm sorry t' laugh. It ain't funny. We really did a number on ya, an' we were just doin' the best we could. No one knew how t' raise a human. Not even Spike and Carly."

Daniel was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. "No... I know. It's really funny when I think about the shit I used to think. Do you remember the time that EDC guy got a social worker to look in on me when both mom and dad had been off world for nearly six months? They'd left me with Sparkplug, and he pretty much left me with Hot Rod. Dude freaked out 'cause I told him I was going to sparkbond with Hot Rod when I grew up. He got really mean and said that humans didn't marry robots and boys didn't marry boys. I kicked him in the shin for calling Hot Rod a robot, screamed at him that I wasn't a human, that Cybertronians weren't boys and girls, and that bonding with a cohort wasn't getting married."

"Ah remember," Jazz said, suddenly coldly serious. "Ah didn't know all the circumstances, or Ah might have made that bastard disappear for good rather than just get transferred, the xeno-homophobic fragger. An' Ah remember they almost took ya away. Prime had t' intervene, an' either Carly or Spike had t' promise t' be on the same planet with ya from then out."

"Fucking hated that social worker. Every time she came I felt like she was judging my family, and I don't mean my parents. She hated Hot Rod."

"'Cause he crushed her car for making ya cry."

"Oh my God, yes, I remember that! It was fucking awesome. He was supposed to spend a month in he brig, but I snuck in there with him, and Prowl had to let him out to get me to eat because I was pretending to be on a hunger strike even though Hot Rod was sneaking me snacks form his subspace."

"Prowler knew ya was eatin', Danny. He just wanted to crush that car, too."

Daniel suddenly was tearing up again, and Jazz found himself with an armful of human. Soft arms were clinging to his neck. "I miss all of them so much, Jazz. I'm so, so sorry. I miss them all so much, and I don't even know how you are going on."

"Shh, it's okay," Jazz ran his finger over Daniel's back. "Ah'm okay. Hurts like slag, for both of us. Ya shouldn't be alone like this, with everyone ya love in a completely different galaxy fighting a war when ya need 'em the most."

Jazz's assurances were broken by a small human mouth trying desperately to kiss him, which was more like being nibbled on, but the need and desperation for connection was something he could completely understand.

"Ya sure?" he asked, pulling away briefly while bringing his hands to hold Daniel closer, wanting so badly to do right by him that it made his spark feel like it was shredding. "Ah don't want t' do somethin' that will mess things up even more for ya."

"No, but do it anyway," Daniel said, the bit his lip nervously before going on. "I don't know if this is what I need, but I want to know if it is. I have no idea what I can give you back."

"Don't worry 'bout that. Ah wanna make ya feel good, Danny, an' Ah know how. Some folks...well... let's just say Ah'm one of those who enjoys bein' on the given' end, so ya don't have t' worry 'bout what ya can't do for me. Next time, Ah can show ya how it works the other way."

"There's gonna be a next time?" Daniel teased, giving a nervous laugh.

"If ya like the first an' want it," Jazz qualified.

"Right here?" Daniel asked, shivering a little at the thought of taking off his clothes in the chilly air with the wind blowing off the lake.

"We could go down t' the bunker if ya'd rather, but for what Ah have in mind, ya don't even need t' take off your sweatshirt, though you'll probably need a clean pair of boxers after. Might feel better with no clothes, though, since humans have such good tactile receptors."

Daniel raised his eyebrows at that. "Umm..."

"Ya tell me t' stop or slow down at any time, an Ah will, got it? Ya want me t' explain how this works?"

Daniel felt his heart skip and start racing even faster. "Umm, yeah."

"Right. So all those dermal interfaces ya had installed for the exosuit? Pretty good conduits for directed electromagnetic pulses. That should get ya pretty revved up. An' if ya really wanna ride, Ah can plug in t' one of 'em. Your nervous system ain't that different from a neural net, an' Ah coded some protocols for it, had Ratchet take a look way back when, so ya don't have t' worry 'bout me hurtin' nothin'."

"You've done this before, with a human, then?" Daniel asked.

"Ah have. Prowl an' Chip were real close. Ah came up with the codin' for them, joined in sometimes. An' Ah have a friend in the EDC who's a real comfort t' me. That bother ya?"

Daniel laughed nervously. "Jazz, think about where I was raised. I never had any ideas that exclusivity was normal. My parents, if they were, seemed like the strange ones."

"Actually-"

"-Don't tell me. There's some things a kid just doesn't need to know about his recently deceased parents."

"Heh, suit yourself." Jazz said lightly, while inwardly heaping a pile of slag on Spike and Carly for not being more forthright with their son.

"So...right here?" Daniel said.

"Only the moose will see ya, and ya won't even be in your protoform. Unless you want to be?"

"Um, no, not this time."

"Gonna be a next time?" Jazz teased gently.

"Let's see how the first time goes."

"Here," Jazz knelt by the blanket Daniel had brought out from the cabin to sit on. "Ya get yourself comfortable there, an Ah'll curl around ya like so. Be as active or not as ya want, and don't forget t' tell me t' stop or slow down, right?"

Daniel watched as Jazz curled around him on his side far more gracefully than anyone made out of metal, even living metal, should be able to, his helm resting on his arm. Daniel unconsciously mimicked the position, his head even with Jazz's, his feet even with the Autobot symbol on Jazz's hood. Jazz put his other hand behind Daniel's back, warmth radiating from his plating.

"Ready?"

"Yeah," Daniel whispered, looking at the visor and reaching out to hesitantly caress Jazz's helm.

There was no movement. Nothing to signal that Jazz was _doing_ anything, but suddenly every one of the tiny connector ports that wired the exosuit into his nervous system were tingling, and the sensation moved from them deeper inside, settling between his thighs and somewhere deeper behind them. Another tingle began in his chest, right at his sternum before rushing down his spine to meet up with the other tingles.

Daniel gasped.

"Good?" Jazz asked, his tone deeper, the resonance of it moving through Daniel much like the tingles were.

"Oh, fuck yes," Daniel said, his voice giving an embarrassing squeak.

"Good," Jazz said, giving a devastating grin. The tingling grew, and Danny felt heat pooling low in his stomach as his pants became uncomfortably tight. A part of him wanted to unzip, to grip himself in time with the tingles that were moving along his length and in so many other spots he had not even been aware were erogenous. But instead he closed his eyes and sank into the sensations, into knowing that it was Jazz making this happen, without even touching him, just by bending and manipulating the field generated by his spark and his systems.

A particularly stunning set of tingles shot up his spine and made his toes curl and his body writhe.

"Ah like the way ya move with it, Danny," Jazz crooned, his hand sliding underneath him and pulling Danny even closer. The hot air from Jazz's vents were sending steam into the chilly autumn air and making Daniel feel like he was in a sauna, not by a lake in northern Maine. "Ah can feel ya in mah field, movin' with it, like you're dancin'."

Danny felt a tear roll down his cheek and then dry from the heat of Jazz's vents. He didn't even know why he was crying. It just felt so good. It was like riding on growing waves of pleasure, dipping and peaking, and the knowledge that it was Jazz doing it, someone he had loved and looked up to so much as a kid, almost had him coming undone. He hadn't even noticed when his hands gripped on to Jazz's bottom sensor horn as though to keep himself from falling.

"That's right, Danny," Jazz crooned again as the tingles intensified, pulling a moan from Daniel's throat. "This good, or ya want somethin' more?" An extra strong tingle ran along his cock with that question.

"Want..." Daniel had to swallow and take a shaky breath to find his voice, "want whatever you'll give me."

"Okay, sweet spark," Jazz said, grinning again. A panel popped open near the Autobot symbol on his hood. He removed his hand long enough to pull out the cable inside. Daniel watched in avid fascination as the end lengthened and tapered until it was as tiny as the filaments from the exosuit that slid into his ports.

"Gonna plug in now, Danny. You're 'bout t' feel a whole lot more of me inside ya. Not just physical; emotions, too, both ways, if the codin' works right. Okay?" Jazz's tone was so warm, so assuring, and Daniel couldn't think of anything he wanted more at the moment. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak as the tingles died down to a low, comfortable buzz that promised he wasn't alone in his skin.

"Right," Jazz said again, smiling, then kissing Daniel's chest just where his spark would be. He slid the cable home into the tiny port hidden in his hair on the back of his head. It was the most complex one, used to transmit Daniel's thought impulses to the suit.

At first, Daniel didn't feel a thing, and he wondered if something wasn't working right. "Hold on, sweet spark, just gettin' a read on your patterns," Jazz said as if he could hear the worry, his visor darkening and flickering. "Ah, yeah, this is gonna work just fine. Now hold on, gonna start real slow. Tell me if it's too much or ya want t' stop."

Daniel gave a quick nod, closing his eyes and gripping Jazz's sensor horn harder. He felt an immediate jolt of pleasure, and knew somewhere deep inside that it was Jazz's, from the receptors on that horn. It wasn't intense. Daniel couldn't grip tight enough for that, but it undeniably felt good, and suddenly Daniel was stunned that he could know that, and feel it.

Jazz chuckled as Daniel gasped at the revelation of what he was feeling, and again he felt the emotion inside. Jazz's happiness to be sharing something as special as a first time with him seemed to move through his entire body. He could feel the warmth, the love, the acceptance of himself just as he was with all of his grief and questions and hurt.

How feelings could transmit into such intense physical pleasure was beyond Daniel's ability to understand. Warmth grew deep inside of him, radiating like a sun warming him from the inside out. The tingles from before returned, but this time it felt more like real touches, strokes of love and pleasure along every sensitive place, both on his surface and deep inside. He felt something warm, tight and slick sheath his cock even though nothing was touching it, and knew, somehow, the sheath was made up entirely of Jazz's affection for him, his spark deep desire to make him feel good and whole and loved.

He moaned and began to thrust into the imaginary grip that was so very real. Even as his cock was sheathed in emotion made physical, he felt like his entire body was surrounded, enveloped snugly in the safety and bliss of that same affection, gripping his cock and gripping his very soul until both erupted in a release so sweet that he began to sob with all the sorrow and joy that were mingled in them both.

He kept on sobbing, and felt Jazz sharing his own grief in response, for all the losses that had wounded them both, along with the assurance that no matter what came to pass, somehow, all would be well, and that Jazz would make sure he was not left alone.

* * *

><p>Rodimus was sitting on his berth, wiping the soot from the latest battle off his frame when Blaster commed him with incoming messages from both Earth and Cybertron. He was weary to his core, both from the grueling diplomatic dance of keeping Galvatron and his forces as allies rather than enemies and from the latest string of attacks on Cybertron's most distant colonies by Quintesson-built slaves. He hated extinguishing them, sentient creatures without freedom or the ability to choose, but he also could not let those peaceful colonies that had managed to thrive during the Autobot-Decepticon war face slaughter. He absently riffled through the files that Blaster transmitted to him, tagging them for various commanders to deal with and filing the ones he needed to address personally for after he'd fueled and recharged. One message, marked personal and urgent, caught his attention, and he signaled it to play on his internal comm.<p>

_Rodimus, Ah'm gonna make this short an' blunt. Daniel needs a cohort. He ain't gonna find it with the humans, and that's pretty much all our fault. Ours and his creators', but they ain't around to take the heat for their choices any more. He's lost everything in the world that matters t' him cause he feels like he's lost you, too._

_There ain't a question whether he'd be bonded with your cohort if he'd been created with a spark. Find a way to make it work, and do right by him. Ah don't care what ya have t' do to make it possible to keep him with ya, t' make sure he's never this alone again. Have Perceptor start the research on the binary bonding again, or transfer of consciousness to a Cybertronian shell, or a more advanced exosuit. Just make it happen. _

_ Ah'm given' him the comfort he needs right now, teachin' him stuff his cohort should've. But Ah'm a mech without a cohort, an' my spark won't bond again. Ya know damn well that means he's gonna lose someone else he cares for, an' it won't be all that long. He could keep me from fadin' for a time, just like Merissa is, but Ah won't do that t' him. What he needs is the cohort he should've always had. Ya find a way t' make him part of yours, or I swear by Primus you'll find out what it means to be on the wrong side of the former head of Special Ops, capische? _

_Ah know ya worry 'bout his safety, but the kid's already been through Unicron an' back, an' t' be blunt, it's better he has a few years with a cohort that loves 'im than a vorn slowly dyin' by himself. Either way it's too short, though if Perceptor gets on that research, ya may get him longer than poor Bee had his folks. Ah'm stayin' with him 'til Ah hear back from ya and how ya plan t' do right by him._

Rodimus sat slumped over, in silence for a time, optics dim. Then, he sat up straight and commed the command team for a meeting that should have happened years before.


End file.
